Getting Back in the Sack After a Baby

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Having a baby is a big change and it affects all parts of your life. You are instructed to wait 6 weeks after birth to restart intercourse generally to allow your body to heal.

If you had a vaginal birth, you may have had an episiotomy which you will want to heal completely. If you had a Cesarean, you had major surgery and need to not do anything strenuous for 6 weeks.

However going to your 6 week appointment does not mean you will be ready physically or emotionally.

Reasons you may not be ready:

  1. If you had a bad tear or even just a regular episiotomy, doesn’t mean at 6 weeks it won’t hurt anymore. Not to scare anyone but I had a fourth degree tear with my second child and it still was a bit painful to have sex over a year later. (Although we only waited 8 weeks to resume sex – I just dealt with the pain.)
  2. You are dealing with an influx of emotions as your hormones change and you are in love with your new baby. You may be dealing with baby blues or even just be so in love with the baby that you only want to take care of him or her. 
  3. You’re tired. Notice I didn’t say you MAY be tired. All new moms are tired, some more than others, it all depends on how the baby sleeps although in general, it’s not much the first few weeks since they have to eat so often. 
  4. You may be breastfeeding and some women struggle with the idea of your breasts being used for food and for sex at the same time. (For that matter, there are husbands who refuse to touch or kiss a women’s breasts when she’s breastfeeding.)
  5. You may be afraid of getting pregnant again. You should have talked birth control at your 6 week appointment. Make sure you are implementing your preferred method and use any backup birth control you need to, depending on what you picked. Remember you can get pregnant BEFORE your period returns. 

Remember, you do NOT have to have sex again until you are ready. Just don’t ignore your man completely. Spend some time together when the baby is asleep, kiss and hug, or even do other “bed” things other than sex.  Explain to your  man why you are not ready so he doesn’t think it’s something he did.

When you are ready, take it slow. If you had a tear or episiotomy, go on top so you can be in control. Trust me.

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