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The Science of Lying

Pamela Meyer talks about lying in this TED Talk. Psychology really interests me, always has. She covers how to be a lie spotter, why we lie and how we can be truth seekers and build trust. Her talk pulled me in and I didn’t look away from it till it was over. That must truly be the mark of a good speaker.

When she pointed out some common things people who are being deceptive do, it all seemed so obvious and clear. It was very interesting and I’d love to read her book.

Little White Lies

As Pamela pointed out, a lot of those lies we hear every day are what we call white lies. This concept has always confused me. How is a little white lie defined? What is a white lie to you might be more meaningful/hurtful to me.

I obviously cannot say I’ve never lied, no one can. But I really do try to limit it as much as I can. I think I drive some of my family nuts a bit because I am not comfortable lying. For example children 5 and under ride free on our city buses. My 6 year old looks younger and people have told me to say she’s 5 to save on bus tickets. But I just can’t. I know other people do it and that’s your decision to make but I personally don’t see how I can lie about that and then expect my children to value truth.

When Is It Okay to Lie?

That is one of those questions that there isn’t really an answer for as it’s all dependent on our personal beliefs and convictions. I think we all need to spend some time thinking about how we would personally answer it though. Don’t wait till the opportunity to lie comes up to determine if you will lie or not.

For example, would you?

• Tell your children (who can’t tell time yet) it is bedtime when it’s not so they will go to bed a little earlier?
• Tell your significant other he/she looks great when he/she really could stand to lose a few pounds?
• Spend $100 but tell your significant other that you only spent $50? Would it matter how much of a difference it was? Would you say the $100 item cost $75? $90?
• Tell your child you were happy when you found out you were pregnant with her, even though honestly you were distraught for months?

You certainly don’t’ have to share these answer with me but you should think about it on your own. If you do want to share in the comments, I am interested to hear what you think. If you are going to respond to what someone else said, please keep it civil. We all make the choices that are right for us at the time.

Watch TEDTalks – How to Spot a Liar

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No Disclosure Needed. Inspired by TEDTalks is a series created on my own because I love TED Talks and learning new things.